Monday, October 12, 2009

The Great Bridesmaid Debate

It's no surprise that in the course of planning a wedding, you will have to confront many an unasked opinion from friends, family, and colleagues. It was quite challenging for me when we first started planning because I'm a born and bred people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy first and foremost M and my friends and family. It felt unnatural to make decisions that made little old me happy while learning how to "thanks but no thanks" those who gave unsolicited opinions and move on.

I was plagued by anxiety when the inevitable bridesmaid announcement was closing in. I have been lucky enough to have several brilliant and warm and funny women in my life who I would love to have stand by my side when I get married in June. Yet how many was too many? And how could I possibly bear the thought of hurting one of my friends feelings by not including them in the count?

I wavered and worried about this for months until M sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "Who do you want to be there by your side? Who are you going to remember standing in support of our marriage? Who cannot you not imagine this moment without?" And I stopped and I thought about these questions. I thought about how I would answer them totally unbiased from my own heart of hearts (rather than being influenced by everyone surrounding me). And I made the decision that was one of the hardest of wedding planning.

I am thrilled to have 8 of my nearest and dearest bestest girlfriends walking down the aisle and standing by my side as M and I pledge our lives together. While some have said that 8 bridesmaids are too many, I know that I could not imagine this moment without a single one of them and I would regret for days and years not having each of these ladies there with me.

What were your hardest wedding decisions? Did you have any bridesmaid dilemmas? How do you deal with the unsolicited opinions?


jessica lynn said...

thanks for using a picture from my wedding day! i loved having my 7 friends stand next to me. 7 wasnt too many and 8 won't be either. you will be so glad to haev them all there with you :)

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